I was getting ready for the gym tonight and I heard Devin go to the door and jiggle the door handle (I assumed he was checking to make sure it was locked).  I was about to say/yell, “Don’t lock it because I am going to the gym!”  But I didn’t, because I didn’t want to wake the Cakes.  Then, I heard him open our baby gate (the gate makes a loud, unmistakable clicking/banging noise when it is opened or closed).  So, I put my sports bra on and I went into the hallway to get last night’s workout top (gross, I know….I really need more of those!) when I saw movement in the bathroom.  Now, there is most definitely a ghost in our apartment, I have seen “him” a couple times (that’s a completely different post).  So, I quickly look up, thinking I would catch the ghost in action.  Nope…it was Devin.

Now, wait a minute…I just heard him go into the kitchen!  It was like 2 seconds later and there was no possible way for him to get to the bathroom so quickly!  I looked at him all mean like and our conversation went a little like this:

Me: Did you just go into the kitchen?!?

Devin: No

Me: Did you just lock the door?

Devin: No, I did that earlier

Me: So you have been in here the whole time?

Devin: Yeah, why?

Of course now I have decided that there is an intruder in the apartment, so I run out to the living room.  Then I ran back to the hallway, because I forgot I was topless.  I grabbed a towel and ran to the kitchen.  If there was an intruder, I have no clue what I would do.  But, no one was there.  The baby gate was shut, exactly how I left just a couple minutes prior.

Devin said he didn’t hear anything.  So, obviously I must be going crazy.  I explained what I had heard to Devin and then did the walk of shame back to the bedroom.  I sat on the bed, put my head in my hands, and contemplated a life in an insane asylum.  Devin came in and tried to comfort me but then I heard something again!  I heard the baby gate hitting against it’s frame! I tell Devin to shush and I say, “Did you hear that?”  Then we BOTH heard  crinkling in the kitchen!  ”Devin!  There’s something in the kitchen!”  So we run in there and there is no one!  I guess when we went in the kitchen the first time, we opened the baby gate but didn’t shut it all the way and our fan was blowing against the gate.  Perhaps the crinkling was just trash settling.  But what about the jingling doorknob and the baby gate noise?

spooky….

This family is definitely a little crazy and maybe a little dysfunctional.  They are loud and there were tons of kids there.  I don’t like strangers and I feel uncomfortable being around a bunch of people I don’t know.  I was anticipating a very awkward afternoon.  However, after only an hour, I felt comfortable.  Sure these people are crazy and dysfunctional, but so am I.

I have always felt like the “black sheep” in my family.  I would say I am “extreme” but I am definitely not what one would consider normal.  When I was a freshman in high school, I started having dreams that were coming true.  Still to this day, I will have dreams that come true.  The week before September 11th, I was having dreams of planes crashing into buildings.  Also, I see ghosts and I have run-ins with ghosts.  As you may have read in my last post, my daughter has been talking to my Grandma Mimi, even though Mimi passed away years ago.  When I told this to my three *new* aunts, they weren’t surprised.  They didn’t show shock, they just shrugged it off and said, “Yep, that’s what happens in this family”

Seriously people, I felt like I was going crazy.  I seeing things that weren’t there; I was hearing things that weren’t there; I was dreaming things that ended up coming true.  But, to have someone (a perfectly sane person!) shrug it off as normal, everyday occurrence was relieving.  Knowing I wasn’t alone and it was just….normal….was nice.

Some of you may know that I am Wiccan.  No I don’t eat babies and do animal sacrifices.  It’s just an earth based religion that is very similar to some of the “book religions” that many people practice today.  I started getting into Wicca when I was in high school.  I always felt like something was missing.  I tried Christianity and they couldn’t answer any of my questions.  So, for a while I went to Buddhism and it felt right.  But, I had other ideas about what I believed.  So, I started looking up these ideas on the good ‘ole interwebs.  Through doing these searches, I came across Wicca/Paganism.  Coming from a strict Christian/Catholic background, it was a little alarming at first.  However, it just made sense.  It just seemed to fit.  After a couple years as a practicing Wiccan, I told my parents.  I told my dad first and he just nodded and went about his business.  I was worried he wouldn’t like it. The person I was REALLY afraid of was my mother.  I waited another 6 months to a year before I told my mom.  Needless to say, she cried.  After a while she got used to it…well, she’s still trying to get used to it.  I think it will be fine, though.  I am raising my daughter Wiccan as well.  I think it is the most versatile religion and if she decides to go Christian/Catholic/Mormon/whatever later in life, I will be more than supportive.

I always thought it was strange that Wicca just felt…right.  After meeting my dad’s family, I am no longer surprised.  My Great-Grandmother was Wiccan.  So, it looks like I am at least 2nd generation Wiccan.  I am only sad that I didn’t get a chance to speak to her about Wicca.

It was really nice to talk to my Dad’s biological family.  I was nervous at first, because I still see my Grandma Hutchins as my Grandma.  I still can’t see Mabel (my Dad’s biological mother) as my grandmother.  However, everyone I met this weekend is very nice and it just felt like I fit in.  I was still shy and reserved and tried to just observe, but it just felt right.  Now, my very small family has grown exponentially and it was nice.

This isn’t the first time the Cakes has talked to Mimi.  A couple days before we left, I walked in on the Cakes talking to a seeming invisible person.  I asked her who she was talking to and she pointed up to where a person’s head would be and she said, “I talking Mimi”

The best thing about tonight though was at about 45 minutes into the workout.  Now, keep in mind that I have asthma and have had asthma since I was like 8.  At about 45 minutes I took in a big breath and I could feel my breath all the way down into my lungs!  It scared me for a second and I thought, “Oh God, is this a heart attack?” but that I took a deep breath again and I realized, “No, I am just breathing….this is nice”.  I know for most people this isn’t a big deal, but seriously I haven’t felt that in YEARS!  I am sure I felt in high school PE class or something.  But, wow…I can breathe.  It’s gone now, but that temporary 100% use of my lungs was fabulous.

Also, Mondays are my official “weigh-in days”.  I am not too focused on my weight because I don’t want a flare up of my eating disorder that I had in middle school through high school.  So, I mostly use it as a guide that lets me know that I am doing things right.  I count calories and I aim for about 1700 a day.  Lately I have been slacking with writing everything down, though.  I did it today, I just need to get the nutritional information into my notebook.  In February I weighed 178 pounds (not my highest weight ever…I reached 180 when I was pregnant).  So, for the past month and a half I have been counting calories and I have been going to the gym since February.  (I wont go through this every week, trust me!)

Last week: 167.5

Today: 165 (my pre-pregnancy weight!)

So, that’s exciting news, but I am mostly excited about the whole breathing thing!

I also braved the weight section of the gym tonight.  Pretty exciting.  It’s not that I don’t know how to lift weights, it’s that there are a lot of “meatheads” over on that side of the gym.  Seriously, there are guys who have bicep muscles as big as my head.  It’s disturbing.  There is one regular who has these giant, muscular arms and a giant beer belly.  Anyways, the amount of hitting that I get at the gym is a completely different blog post.  One I will get to soon  It’s not even flattering anymore.

Anyways, have a great weekend!

Why?  Well, for one thing, my life has taken a turn.  Not for the worse, but for the better….hopefully.  Anyways.  I suppose now would be a good idea to fill everyone in on my life.  First change, I am engaged.  Yay!  Super exciting….except for the fact that it has been almost 2 years since D proposed.  We FINALLY set the date and are planning on sending out the Save the Dates next month…it should have been this month but we just can’t afford it unfortunately.  So, that is exciting.  Also, D, the Cakes (my 2 year old daughter!), and I moved to Alameda.  It’s a relatively little town in the Bay Area.  Seriously, on a clear day we can go to the beach and see the skyscrapers of San Francisco.  Pretty awesome.  D gets his small town and I still get the big city.

Also, I am officially enrolled at the Academy of Art University.  I am majoring in Photography so I feel pretty excited about where my life is going!  Seriously, art school would be the ONE place I was SURE I wasn’t going to go.  But, I fell in love with photography.  My work has greatly improved this past year too.  This summer I really wanted to start my own professional photography blog…but we will have to wait and see if that actually happens.  It may happen next summer.  I also wanted to start an Etsy shop with my photography…but I am not sure if that’s going to get anywhere either.

In February this year, D bought me a gym membership (yay!) and I went all the time.  I only lost 4 pounds in 4 months, though.  I mean losing weight slowly is the healthy way, but 1 pound a month??  At about that time I got shin splints and had to take some time off exercising.  Then, I got an exercise/food journal at borders for like $3 and I have since lost 9 pounds in 4 weeks (much better).  So, I have lost 13 pounds since the first of the year.

Which, honestly where my life is at.  I am focusing on eating right; well, I was eating right, but I was eating A LOT of good food!  So, really I am working on eating the right amount of food and exercising, going to school, and working with Kayleigh (currently working on potty training with her!).  So, in a nutshell that is what this blog will be about!  Trying to live a healthy lifestyle while attending classes, taking care of a toddler, and planning a wedding!  Plus whatever random, everyday drama arises.  Sorry I have been so absent!!!  I am trying to restart this blog and inject some life into it!!

So, what am I going to post without pictures?  I finished reading a book yesterday.  Oh yeah.  I just got done reading a book that was classified as “porn” it is a sequel to another novel that was also “porn”.  Because of the previous book’s reputation, this book almost didn’t get published.  Thank goodness that it did!  I loved the book.  It is D.H. Lawrence’s novel, Women in Love.  I love this book.  The characters were well thought out and completely believable.  While reading it you get a sense that D.H. Lawrence really understood the woman’s pysche.  While a lot of the problems that faced the two main characters aren’t applicable in today’s world, a lot of their feelings are universal.  At times I think he was a bit confused about why we act the way we do, but he’s a guy so of course he feels that way.  I love how he examined the paper thin line between love and hate.  This is a seqel to the Rainbow, which is also another great book.  It picks up where it left off with the two Brangwen sisters and it follows them through falling in love, falling out of love, hating each other, and death.  It’s a beautiful book.  Seriously, go buy it right now!!

Right now I am reading 98 Reasons for Being by Claire Dudman, which so far is a great read.  I started it yesterday and I am already over half way through.  Anyways, hopefully a review on that book will follow.

Meanwhile, I hope everyone is well and I hope to get at least one post up tomorrow.  Cross your fingers, as it is very difficult to get anything done when you have a toddler on your hands!

I have a new friend in the house, I will try and take a picture of her before she tries to hide under out copious amount of clutter!