Burnt Toast Stars

Just another WordPress.com weblog

My Two Year Old Sees Dead People (part 2)…. July 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 7:27 am

….and apparently I can hear them!

I was getting ready for the gym tonight and I heard Devin go to the door and jiggle the door handle (I assumed he was checking to make sure it was locked).  I was about to say/yell, “Don’t lock it because I am going to the gym!”  But I didn’t, because I didn’t want to wake the Cakes.  Then, I heard him open our baby gate (the gate makes a loud, unmistakable clicking/banging noise when it is opened or closed).  So, I put my sports bra on and I went into the hallway to get last night’s workout top (gross, I know….I really need more of those!) when I saw movement in the bathroom.  Now, there is most definitely a ghost in our apartment, I have seen “him” a couple times (that’s a completely different post).  So, I quickly look up, thinking I would catch the ghost in action.  Nope…it was Devin.

Now, wait a minute…I just heard him go into the kitchen!  It was like 2 seconds later and there was no possible way for him to get to the bathroom so quickly!  I looked at him all mean like and our conversation went a little like this:

Me: Did you just go into the kitchen?!?

Devin: No

Me: Did you just lock the door?

Devin: No, I did that earlier

Me: So you have been in here the whole time?

Devin: Yeah, why?

Of course now I have decided that there is an intruder in the apartment, so I run out to the living room.  Then I ran back to the hallway, because I forgot I was topless.  I grabbed a towel and ran to the kitchen.  If there was an intruder, I have no clue what I would do.  But, no one was there.  The baby gate was shut, exactly how I left just a couple minutes prior.

Devin said he didn’t hear anything.  So, obviously I must be going crazy.  I explained what I had heard to Devin and then did the walk of shame back to the bedroom.  I sat on the bed, put my head in my hands, and contemplated a life in an insane asylum.  Devin came in and tried to comfort me but then I heard something again!  I heard the baby gate hitting against it’s frame! I tell Devin to shush and I say, “Did you hear that?”  Then we BOTH heard  crinkling in the kitchen!  “Devin!  There’s something in the kitchen!”  So we run in there and there is no one!  I guess when we went in the kitchen the first time, we opened the baby gate but didn’t shut it all the way and our fan was blowing against the gate.  Perhaps the crinkling was just trash settling.  But what about the jingling doorknob and the baby gate noise?



Quickie post July 20, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 7:50 pm

Just wanted to post this on here, because I don’t think I have linked to our picasa webalbum yet. So, clickety click!


My Family Reunion Part 1 July 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 5:54 pm

My dad was adopted when he was a baby.  He never knew his “birth parents” and didn’t have a way to find his birth family.  Well, about 6 months ago he was contacted by a person claiming to be his sister.  After he checked her out and started talking to her, it turns out that she is his sister.  Which is exciting, but it turns out he has a MASSIVE amount of siblings!  Not to mention nieces and nephews and cousins and uncles and aunts!!  This weekend was a family reunion for his “birth family”.  Not everyone could make it, but a lot of people did show up…..including myself.

This family is definitely a little crazy and maybe a little dysfunctional.  They are loud and there were tons of kids there.  I don’t like strangers and I feel uncomfortable being around a bunch of people I don’t know.  I was anticipating a very awkward afternoon.  However, after only an hour, I felt comfortable.  Sure these people are crazy and dysfunctional, but so am I.

I have always felt like the “black sheep” in my family.  I would say I am “extreme” but I am definitely not what one would consider normal.  When I was a freshman in high school, I started having dreams that were coming true.  Still to this day, I will have dreams that come true.  The week before September 11th, I was having dreams of planes crashing into buildings.  Also, I see ghosts and I have run-ins with ghosts.  As you may have read in my last post, my daughter has been talking to my Grandma Mimi, even though Mimi passed away years ago.  When I told this to my three *new* aunts, they weren’t surprised.  They didn’t show shock, they just shrugged it off and said, “Yep, that’s what happens in this family”

Seriously people, I felt like I was going crazy.  I seeing things that weren’t there; I was hearing things that weren’t there; I was dreaming things that ended up coming true.  But, to have someone (a perfectly sane person!) shrug it off as normal, everyday occurrence was relieving.  Knowing I wasn’t alone and it was just….normal….was nice.

Some of you may know that I am Wiccan.  No I don’t eat babies and do animal sacrifices.  It’s just an earth based religion that is very similar to some of the “book religions” that many people practice today.  I started getting into Wicca when I was in high school.  I always felt like something was missing.  I tried Christianity and they couldn’t answer any of my questions.  So, for a while I went to Buddhism and it felt right.  But, I had other ideas about what I believed.  So, I started looking up these ideas on the good ‘ole interwebs.  Through doing these searches, I came across Wicca/Paganism.  Coming from a strict Christian/Catholic background, it was a little alarming at first.  However, it just made sense.  It just seemed to fit.  After a couple years as a practicing Wiccan, I told my parents.  I told my dad first and he just nodded and went about his business.  I was worried he wouldn’t like it. The person I was REALLY afraid of was my mother.  I waited another 6 months to a year before I told my mom.  Needless to say, she cried.  After a while she got used to it…well, she’s still trying to get used to it.  I think it will be fine, though.  I am raising my daughter Wiccan as well.  I think it is the most versatile religion and if she decides to go Christian/Catholic/Mormon/whatever later in life, I will be more than supportive.

I always thought it was strange that Wicca just felt…right.  After meeting my dad’s family, I am no longer surprised.  My Great-Grandmother was Wiccan.  So, it looks like I am at least 2nd generation Wiccan.  I am only sad that I didn’t get a chance to speak to her about Wicca.

It was really nice to talk to my Dad’s biological family.  I was nervous at first, because I still see my Grandma Hutchins as my Grandma.  I still can’t see Mabel (my Dad’s biological mother) as my grandmother.  However, everyone I met this weekend is very nice and it just felt like I fit in.  I was still shy and reserved and tried to just observe, but it just felt right.  Now, my very small family has grown exponentially and it was nice.


My Two-Year Old Sees Dead People July 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 12:50 am

So, we are visiting my parents this weekend.  We went swimming today and all of a sudden the Cakes started saying, “Mimi!”  Mimi was what my brother and I called my grandmother.  My grandmother who died years ago.  I tried talking to her and asking what she meant by “Mimi” and she pointed to the side of the pool.  She then waved at Mimi and said, “bye bye!”  Later in the day, she was still talking to Mimi.

This isn’t the first time the Cakes has talked to Mimi.  A couple days before we left, I walked in on the Cakes talking to a seeming invisible person.  I asked her who she was talking to and she pointed up to where a person’s head would be and she said, “I talking Mimi”


Weekly Weigh-in July 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 7:47 am

I went to the gym tonight.  Not that much of an achievement, because I go pretty much every weekday.  So, be prepared for lots of gym updates in the future!  That’s all I really do lately!!  I got a personal best today.  For cardio, I mainly use the elliptical because i’s so much fun.  It mimics the motion of running, without the boob bounce-age.  So, less pain…and less creepy old guys staring.  Anyways!  I did the elliptical for 60 minutes with a 5 minute cooldown.  I went 4.5 miles and burned 504 calories (according to the machine…I will get a heart rate monitor soon!).  My previous “best” was 60 minutes with a 5 min cool down and 4.2 miles and 470 calories burned.  So that’s pretty exciting.

The best thing about tonight though was at about 45 minutes into the workout.  Now, keep in mind that I have asthma and have had asthma since I was like 8.  At about 45 minutes I took in a big breath and I could feel my breath all the way down into my lungs!  It scared me for a second and I thought, “Oh God, is this a heart attack?” but that I took a deep breath again and I realized, “No, I am just breathing….this is nice”.  I know for most people this isn’t a big deal, but seriously I haven’t felt that in YEARS!  I am sure I felt in high school PE class or something.  But, wow…I can breathe.  It’s gone now, but that temporary 100% use of my lungs was fabulous.

Also, Mondays are my official “weigh-in days”.  I am not too focused on my weight because I don’t want a flare up of my eating disorder that I had in middle school through high school.  So, I mostly use it as a guide that lets me know that I am doing things right.  I count calories and I aim for about 1700 a day.  Lately I have been slacking with writing everything down, though.  I did it today, I just need to get the nutritional information into my notebook.  In February I weighed 178 pounds (not my highest weight ever…I reached 180 when I was pregnant).  So, for the past month and a half I have been counting calories and I have been going to the gym since February.  (I wont go through this every week, trust me!)

Last week: 167.5

Today: 165 (my pre-pregnancy weight!)

So, that’s exciting news, but I am mostly excited about the whole breathing thing!


Shockingly Unbusy Saturday July 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 8:08 am

Yeah, today was actually really casual (like we have formal saturdays) and relaxed.  D and I went on a date and the Cakes stayed with my in-laws.  We went to see the new Twilight movie…yeah I know.  I just really like vampire movies!  It was…okay.  Definitely not as good as the previous two movies.  Yes, I have seen all of the Twilight movies.  It is sad, but true.  I am not one of those crazy people wearing the “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob” t-shirts.  I wouldn’t even be able to pick a side.  Jacob is pretty hot (literally and figuratively); Edward is pretty…well, Edward.  Poor Devin, he only sat through the first movie with me and hadn’t seen the second one yet.  He was a little confused but tolerated it anyways.

I also braved the weight section of the gym tonight.  Pretty exciting.  It’s not that I don’t know how to lift weights, it’s that there are a lot of “meatheads” over on that side of the gym.  Seriously, there are guys who have bicep muscles as big as my head.  It’s disturbing.  There is one regular who has these giant, muscular arms and a giant beer belly.  Anyways, the amount of hitting that I get at the gym is a completely different blog post.  One I will get to soon 😛  It’s not even flattering anymore.

Anyways, have a great weekend!


WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? July 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — btstars @ 3:26 am

I know, I know I have been gone for awhile.  I didn’t like where the blog was going and it was just so negative and really, I am not negative.  Sooooo, I started over, but then I didn’t know where to take the blog.  Grrrrr….so frustrating!  It’s cool, though.  I am changing a lot of things with the blog and what I am going to be talking about

Why?  Well, for one thing, my life has taken a turn.  Not for the worse, but for the better….hopefully.  Anyways.  I suppose now would be a good idea to fill everyone in on my life.  First change, I am engaged.  Yay!  Super exciting….except for the fact that it has been almost 2 years since D proposed.  We FINALLY set the date and are planning on sending out the Save the Dates next month…it should have been this month but we just can’t afford it unfortunately.  So, that is exciting.  Also, D, the Cakes (my 2 year old daughter!), and I moved to Alameda.  It’s a relatively little town in the Bay Area.  Seriously, on a clear day we can go to the beach and see the skyscrapers of San Francisco.  Pretty awesome.  D gets his small town and I still get the big city.

Also, I am officially enrolled at the Academy of Art University.  I am majoring in Photography so I feel pretty excited about where my life is going!  Seriously, art school would be the ONE place I was SURE I wasn’t going to go.  But, I fell in love with photography.  My work has greatly improved this past year too.  This summer I really wanted to start my own professional photography blog…but we will have to wait and see if that actually happens.  It may happen next summer.  I also wanted to start an Etsy shop with my photography…but I am not sure if that’s going to get anywhere either.

In February this year, D bought me a gym membership (yay!) and I went all the time.  I only lost 4 pounds in 4 months, though.  I mean losing weight slowly is the healthy way, but 1 pound a month??  At about that time I got shin splints and had to take some time off exercising.  Then, I got an exercise/food journal at borders for like $3 and I have since lost 9 pounds in 4 weeks (much better).  So, I have lost 13 pounds since the first of the year.

Which, honestly where my life is at.  I am focusing on eating right; well, I was eating right, but I was eating A LOT of good food!  So, really I am working on eating the right amount of food and exercising, going to school, and working with Kayleigh (currently working on potty training with her!).  So, in a nutshell that is what this blog will be about!  Trying to live a healthy lifestyle while attending classes, taking care of a toddler, and planning a wedding!  Plus whatever random, everyday drama arises.  Sorry I have been so absent!!!  I am trying to restart this blog and inject some life into it!!